By DJ Salinger, NEW YORK CITY – A growing body of experts and everyday people – a hodgepodge of scientists, spoilt academics and eveyday stereomoms, whathaveyou, say Madonna “is old”.
“It’s irrefutable,” ejaculated Kenny Habh, 9, who has studied Madonna since he was 5. “Her face looks like takoyaki.” (‘Takoyaki’ is Japanese for ‘octopus pancake’.)
By Styles Cradgerock, LOS ANGELES – As 2009 dies the horrible death it deserves all of Hollywood is saluting global media giants CNN and Yahoo for delivering the year’s most cutting-edge in-your-face cute pet stories.
In previous years – 2008, 2007 and so on, cute pet stories tended to be eclipsed by political coverage, current events, business news and so on.
But God said from now on, “Let it be otherwise”.
By Barry Hussein, MACAO – The Internet Machine was abuzz this morning with news that a dad, Roland Hawthe, 22, a barista native to Long Island says that a Chinese ship violated international law.
China has accused the USA of violating international law for sailing sailing away why don’t you take me sailing away i don’t know where I’m goin’ to in Chinese waters.
As CNN persists in its coverage of that boring Gaza invasion by Israel, center of the Earth, New York City is all hopped up and ready over what everyone here all ready knows is really 2009’s top story: the effort to draft Madonna as New York’s new senator.
