Emma Watson’s Missing Leg Pleads Not Guilty
By Reiner Jones • Jan 15th, 2010 • Category: Featured Brutality
DETROIT – Emma Watson’s leg, wearing a white T-shirt and tennis shoe, did not speak much Friday during it’s first public court hearing to face several charges. Emma Watson’s renegade leg has been accused of sending offensive pictures and text messages to musical artist Darryl Hall’s mother, accused of orchestrating a Ponzi scheme that has defrauded investors of tens of millions of dollars, and allegedly luring a 16-year-old boy from his home.
Emma Watson’s leg was arrested late Sunday afternoon when police where called to Wingy Wing sports bar to investage a drunk and disorderly complaint. When the arrived on the scene they found mayhem, four men beaten unconcious, tables and windows smashed and Maneater blaring from the Jukebox. One eyewitness described the carnage as, “A bad ass leg at an ass kicking competition.”
Wingy Wing owner Jimmy Cameron recalls Emma’s Watson’s leg as ‘quiet but polite.’ “Her leg seemed like a very nice person, always said please when it asked for another double Zombie, and was a good tipper. To be honest, I’m really suprised this happened.”
When asked what could have set the leg on such a violent ramapage Cameron shakes his head sadly. “All I know is somebody ordered a flaming slipper, when I turned around to make it Emma Watson’s leg had this guy by the neck and was redecorating with him.
If convicted Emma Watson’s leg faces up to 25 years in prison. It’s lawyers have refused to comment on the case, but prosecuters are certain when the case goes to trial Emma Watson’s leg won’t have a leg to stand on.
Reiner Jones is Reiner Jones is a highly touted name in many influential and high-brow circles, far too many to mention. He has received countless honours, and was recently awarded the coveted Big Cheese Award for his expose on sex scandals among foreign correspondents entitled, Jizzalizm.
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