By Styles Cradgerock, WASHINGTON – Coming hot on the heels of his Nobel Peace Prize win, US president Barack Obama has spiced up the biggest humanitarian tragedy thus far in 2010 by tapping his former political rival George W. Bush to head the rescue effort in Haiti, along with former president Bill Clinton.
What what what?!?
By Barry Hussein, TEXAS – Maverick Arizona senator and recent candidate for US president John McCain is hard at work applying the finishing touches to his tell-all campaign trail memoir, “Inside McCain”, due out this Christmas.
After McCain fell asleep last night at his standing desk (that’s right – he sleeps upright) I sneaked round him and by tongs pulled the moist manuscript from a secret location on his person where it had been secretly secreted.
By Ghazala Khan (Special to The Brutal Times) TOKYO -
The following interview was conducted by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. It recalls a friendlier, more innocent time when staff members of The Brutal Times could casually gather around the fried chicken dispensor in the BT offices at Shimokitazawa Hills. A time when birds chirped, but not too loudly. Before the layoffs and the name-calling. Two weeks ago.
By Brad Bremner, (Special to the Brutal Times) Cuba, VERADERO -
Someone just fucking shoot me. Seriously, I got wasted on mojitos* and passed out in the sun. (* Cuban beverage containing vitamin A, B12, and powerful intoxicants and properties to enlarge feet and buttocks).
Now I’m lying here basted in fifty dollar sunburn lotion by the bar and I’m just going to stay pissed until either I fuckin’ die or the nightmare ends. They really should warn you about those goddamned minty drinks, don’t you think?
