the brutal times

By DJ Salinger, LAS VEGAS – Finally, after sweating through the long wait of three months since the last Beatles album was released we can get our rocks off with the just-released 150 album box set which contains all of the lads’ 180981 songs (minus the baggage of those John Lennon and George Harrison tracks which dogged down much of the earlier compilation best boxes).

“Yeah, we finally figured out what was missing with the earlier 569808 best of Beatles releases,” said long-time Beatles producer and confidante George Martin, from his villa in sunny Las Vegas, Sunday, “those fucking Harrison and Lennon songs,”

By DJ Salinger, BEIJING – Early reports coming out of this world-class Olympic city are confirming what the rest of the world has believed to be true for well over a year – that James Brown has died.

By DJ Salinger, LONDON – Brits cheered news this morning that the holy grail of Radiohead fans – a lost Thom Yorke stand up comedy triple album, had been found under a box of Kleenex in a Los Angeles record producer’s gated estate.

By Kaylie, Special to the Brutal Times, BOSTON – My friend Jessie is sexting Barack Obama – and he sexts her back!!! They met online and now everyone around me is pooping their pants cause the gossip is so good!

Special to the Brutal Times, By Tamara – Books are so boring. Don’t get me wrong – I love books. I grew up around books all my life.

But every time I look at a book it just puts me to sleep.