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Monthly Archives: December 2008
I Wanna Get Plastic Surgery – On my Mind!
By Dr Ray Goolens (Special to The Brutal Times), LOS ANGELES – Do people feel insecure about their looks? Yes they do. A typical remedy for this in the USA may be a short trip to the plastic surgeon. My […]
Posted in Featured Brutality, Sick Bay
Tagged aroma therapy, decision tree, health issues, holiday cheer, inner beauty, los angeles, ray goolens, Sick Bay, the brutal times
1 Comment
Backpacker Gets Warm Reception in Europe
God I hate Italy! It’s so boring and the people are so dumb and rude! The weather is atrocious- it just pisses rain all day long since it isn’t cold enough to snow. But it is cold enough that you have to wear three sweaters underneath your raincoat to keep from freezing to death.
Posted in Backpackers, Highlighted Brutality
Tagged Backpackers, Europe, hot vacations, international funtimes, italy, pizza, roughing it, spaghetti, the brutal times
2 Comments
Fonzi Schemes Surge in ’08
With investors and investettes losing their tops this quarter the shocking revelation of a new slew of Fonzi schemes has shock-rocked this seasonally sleepy city into a frenzy of fist-waving and foul-mouthed frustration.
Posted in Highlighted Brutality
Tagged Business Jesus, christmas, global finacial crisis, ponzi, ponzi scheme, potsie, ray goolens, the brutal times, the fonz, wall street
2 Comments
GM Unveils New Sex Drive Car
By Styles Cradgerock, DETROIT – Just in time for Christmas, GM has unveiled its most fabulous machine yet – the sex-drive car! The sleek family auto known as the GM Phero, is 100% powered on the pheronome, which in case […]
Sorry to Swear, but I Hate My Fucking Computer!
Ooh I hate my fucking computer! I know it’s bad to swear and in the Christmas season because of the Baby Jesus etc but OMG if my computer was a person I’d drag it outside by its pubes and beat it in the street.
George Lucas to Shoot Chinese Democracy Videos
George Lucas is ready to rumble. Locked and loaded with energy after the stunning success of his latest act of self-sabotage Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the gruff-as-ever Lucas confirmed Monday that he is slated to direct the first of seven videos from Guns N’ Roses fresh out the oven Chinese Democracy album.
Poll: Cool People ‘Don’t Feel Cool Enough’
Forget the global financial crisis. A new shocking wave of global concern is shock-rocking shoppers and commuters and threatening to add more lumps to everybody’s gravy, even those who chose not to order it. The cause for concern? Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies announced yesterday at Denny’s that according to in-depth research most cool people “don’t feel cool enough”.
Posted in Hollywood Pap, Latest Brutality, Schadenfreude
Tagged afghanistan, bloggerthe brutal times, brutal, coffee, confidence, cool people, el toro, Iraq, mygoodies, pinch, pricey, psychology, sex, starbucks, tokyo
2 Comments