Monthly Archives: November 2007

Oprah Has Big Boobs

By Ohashi Jozu (Special to The Brutal Times) CHICAGO- It came as no surprise this week when talk show maven Oprah Winfrey casually bucked the trend and endorsed US presidential hopeful Barack Obama. Oprah has made no secret of her […]

Posted in Featured Brutality, Hollywood Pap | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Teachers Buried Alive Inside Japanese English School

By Ohashi Jozu,TOKYO – Eileen Fuchenzie couldn’t wait to come to Japan. The 22 year-old Canadian philosophy major at York University spent months packing and re-packing die-hard Canadian staples like Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese, ampules of maple syrup, and […]

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John Edwards Will Continue To Tell The Truth

By Styles Craderock, Nevada, HENDERSON – A beaming US Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told gathered members of the media and a smattering of locals Tuesday in Nevada that he “will continue to tell the truth, for the rest of […]

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My Son Is Spending Too Much Time In His Room

Dear Damien, I am a stay at home mom. My son Mango spends alot of time using your invention the internet. That’s all fine & dandy and I am glad you made it because you are an American like myself. […]

Posted in Ask Daemon Mailer | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Friend’s Friend Is In Al Qaeda!

TOKYO, Japan (CNN) — Japan’s justice minister said “a friend of a friend … is a member of al Qaeda” and had entered the country several times, using various passports, an officer of the Justice Ministry told CNN. Hatoyama says […]

Posted in Schadenfreude | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Why Won`t My Friend Text Me Back?

Dear Daemon, I keep texting my fiend Marcie and she wont text me back! is there something i can do to make her text me back?!? I need her to respond to my messages because otherwise how am i supposed […]

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Subway Cushion Soups a Smash in San Francisco

By Grande Chef Otto, SAN FRANCISCO – The sound of the City of Love’s treasured trolleys may be magic to the ears of the millions of mutton-chopped foreign visitors this sleepy California coastal villa receives each year, but lately locals […]

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